Ok my plans of going to Africa didn't really work out exactly as I thought it would! Apparently, even African countries don't let a guy with my name in without thinking twice. Actually like two million times! Nevertheless, I did manage to get someone else research on it!

I know it's been like 4 or so years now, but what the heck!? Our beloved mammoths have been under-treated for centuries now in our country! So a solution is a solution and better late than never!

So here's what we do - we make a rule. The parliament passes a bill saying elephants have the right to fuck. And every in-house elephant must be provided with these facilities. The people who are responsible for these elephants must see to it that they get laid. Here's what they need to do:

• Buy an elephant of the opposite sex, feed it, take care of it and let them bone anytime they want.
• Take the elephant to a forest now and then and let it pick up someone and have a good night once awhile.
• Open elephant brothels all over the places and make the owners of customer elephants' pay for it.

This has to happen people - no other way! Let's make India great again!

CockroRevenge - Avenging the Avenger!

Foes they are,
they have been invading my fort
over, and over again.

I kill, I defeat, over and over again!
Many a night I've lied awake.
Guarding my den.

They were not seen!
not seen for some days...
some days now - I have almost been resting!

But lo! there was one!
dead, in my peer's lair
I removed the lifeless...

Out, I took it,
threw it down to the earth.
Prayed it turns prey to some other creature!

But ho! it's back
It wasn't dead
and it is back!

It has returned with a vengeance!
It has come to me, to my stronghold,
to avenge me!

Verily! It shook me off my slumber!
It's creeping legs brushing my chin,
I shook it off and it vanished.

It is there, I reckon
Lurking around the darkest corners of my bed
It shall wait for me to lie.

It shall wait...
But I shall not sleep.
I shall stay guard till I kill it.

It's, I against it!
Good versus Evil!
Dark versus the light.

Darkness prevails now.
But dawn would come
and I would win.

Oh, you Cockroach!
You will be killed.
Behold the mighty me!

The avenger will be avenged

Light shall come and I, shall win...

Again!

The mosquito and the ant

This is the story which explains why mosquitoes and ants never fraternize. A long long time ago there lived a real macho mosquito and a sexy chic ant. Those days were conservative. Very conservative! But love never cares and one day as the mosquito was prying inside a house, there it saw the ant. The beautiful, bloodsucking, sexy red ant. The mosquito upon seeing the sexy body, magnetic eyes and everything, fell for the ant. It was love at first sight!

It took minutes and hours for the mosquito to convince the ant. They started dating. After numerous secret dates and after they celebrated their 5th day together, they decided what might not only change their lives, but the entire history of the species of those two kinds. They decided to get married!

The communities, both ants' and mosquitoes' went nutters when they heard it first. But then after a lot of discussions and arguments lasting more seconds than any other had before, they agreed. They thought it could be the dawn of a new era. The beginning of something new. Something smart, active and savage.

They thought the new generation with such parentage would have the unique features of both kinds. They thought the mosquants would be faster, smarter, flying ants which can live more than a day's time. So they announced the wedding. It was a ceremony. Ants and Mosquitoes from all parts of the house gathered at the wedding. It was the most happiest moment of all time. The mosquito and the ant were a married couple now.

And then it all came tumbling down! The dream of ants and of the mosquitoes were crashed. It was the night after the wedding. The mosquito was sitting outside the anthill. Holding back tears and grumbling unintelligible words. Seeing this a friend of mosquito stopped and asked the mosquito why it's not inside, doing the thing!? And the mosquito said this.

'Poor girly ant! she has got mosquito repellent on inside the hill dude.. seems she's always been allergic to mosquito bites'

So the next day, both the parties were assembled and the mousqutant couple were separated for life. It was decided then that mosquitoes and ants can never be together. They realized that they can never be a part of each others' lives. And all so soon, it was the end of the dawn.

Mammoth has a big one and yet.....!!!

Alright, this is totally a fun blog. So its totally goin to look nonsense if I start with an introduction or something..! plus I know anyway no one's gonna sit and read an introduction from a totally strange blog which is obviously full of nonsense!. So I'm just gonna write the nonsense which is supposed to be funny..

The first funniest nonsense is about the elephants and again its totally for fun n fun alone.. no hard feelings ok..

Elephants are wonderful animals. You know they've got this huge body and tusks, but yet they're sooo vegetarian! ( think about cats! those fellaws r way too small and they hate vegetarian food!). And Elephants have got this great memory power, if we let them to go to school, I bet they're gonna be the toppers all the time and since they're the minority they would even get fair reservations and scholarships. And they don't have to bother about wearing uniforms or blazers or whatever.. They'll be very good students too and if you employ them, you can pay them bananas instead and they would never demand a rise!.

There's one important issue at hand now, which nobody seem to be worried of.. Elephants only mate only for 10 seconds or so! man thats very quick!, and you know what if they don't get a pair for a long time, they go mad. And that is something to be considered because in some of the Indian temples, they have an in-house Elephant for some reason!. They provide everything to the Elephant man, gotta appreciate it. They give good food, a cozy shelter made of something else than just trees in the jungle! But the mate! they never seem to care about that man. Think about it, you do it like everyday! probably more than that. Where would these elephants go!? They prepare so much for this 10 seconds and if it gets wasted!? The whole concept sucks!!

If I were an Elephant in a zoo or a temple I would definitely try to speak up and ask those people to work out a solution.. really there's no point in havin a big body and a couple of huge long tusks, if I can't attract a girl! Speaking of which I tell you, that is the most important thing for every organism. Isn't it? I mean you admire and Elephant, you fear it, you worship it.. hellow..... did it ask you to?? All that it needs is a good f**k! Think again man it has got a huge one and it can't use it for the right purpose!? This is ridiculous man we've got to do something about it.. or one fine day you'll read news about Elephant raping someone!

So I'm gonna do something. I'm gonna ask some of the well known Elephants in African or in Indian jungles for opinions and I'm gonna come up with a solution!... on my way to Africa now.....